Please Please Please

Read The Onion this week. Here are the Headlines:

*Tom Hanks This Week's Guest President

*Sept. 11 Could Not Have Been Prevented Without Accruing A Lot Of Overtime, By Condoleezza Rice

*IKEA Claims Another 10,000 Lifestyles

And the Scorpio horoscope:
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
Some people would cut off their nose to spite their face, but you're not like that. You did it because you thought it would make you look like a wingless man-bat hybrid.

Physicists agree

"The Core" is the worst movie ever.

Ahhh...

Love, sweet love.

Makes me sick

Apparently, back in my home state of Kansas, some preachers now think that when Jesus said "love your neighbor as yourself," he really meant, "change your state constitutions so gay people can't get health insurance."

And the state legislators are bending over backwards to make it happen.

A sense of community

This note posted on Craig's List in New York City is a beautiful example of people living together in harmony. Beware -- it contains profanity.

Listening to the readers

A regular reader of the blog said that I should put something topical and political up today. So I am.
Enjoy.

Quit'cher whinin'

I'd gladly take Big Bird over Baylor President Robert B. Sloan Jr.

Too much convenience in Japan

Just think - you could buy beer, bait and TP for your fishing trip, then pick up some fried dumplings and porn on the way home, all without any human interaction.
Janet and Jeremy, I'm jealous. Enjoy Tokyo.

If you go to Louisiana...

Pull yo drawz up.

Best of the best

Unfortunately, this blog has not been around long enough to be nominated to win one of these.

Winner

for stupid company name of the week...

Non-partisan my butt

Check this out.

I feel ok

I lost my favorite aunt last week to pancreatic cancer. I think about her a lot, but I feel ok today, mostly because I talked to her just 2 days before she died. And I made her laugh! My Aunt Linda was a very strong, caring, loving, generous person. When I was a kid, she was the glue of our big family. She watched me and my brother every day until I was 6, since my mom had to work.

This last October, I took a week off work and drove to Pittsburgh to see her and spend time with her. I drove her to the hospital and sat with her as she got her chemo treatment. Then we went to Red Lobster and had those awesome cheese biscuits and clam chowder. We left, and she took my arm and I walked her to the car. It was then I realized my own mortality, our lives like drops of water on the beach that get brought back into the ocean by the next wave. I'll miss her dearly.

PS - if you want to be the greatest uncle or aunt ever, take a lesson from Aunt Linda. The first week of December, send your nephew or niece a box with 12 presents, marked to be opened from December 13-24. Two weeks before Christmas, they're opening little presents every day, while everyody else has to wait for Christmas Eve or Day. Trust me, it works.

If you read this blog...

You are top dog.

Funny Campaign Ad

No, I'm not kidding.

Made it!

My Bush press conference limerick made it to Romenesko, a media/journalism site that Cindy and I love. Here's my shot at poetry:

Cries the press corps, "This president's loony!"
He won't answer; he just looks right through me.
He stammers, he shakes,
Says 'I don't make mistakes,'
Then looks proud to pronounce 'Koizumi.'

Yeah, what he said.

Trust, Don't Verify.

Speechless

I could go on and on about Bush's speech tonight, but I'd rather link to what I thought was a great analysis by DHinMI of DailyKos.

The gist is this:

The problem of troop strength in Iraq got punted to Abazaid and Sanchez.  The failure to anticipate 9-11 was because "I can't make good decisions if I can't get good information."  (He surely failed to notice how that standard could be applied to the bad information he accepted on WMD and Iraq's supposed connection to 9-11.)  Instead of demonstrating evidence or making an argument, several times he resorted to "I know." "I hope you have a sense of my convictions."  "When I say something, I mean it."  In short, for Bush it's all about his internal purity of purpose vs. the external threats to his success--and maybe even his salvation.

Many people out there find this reassuring. Black and white. God and freedom are on our side, and if we have the right motives, it doesn't matter what the outcome is. God Bless the USA.

If I could just get over the faulty logic, lack of compassion, and total delusion inherent there, I guess I could go along with that.

Awesome!

This would make a great gift for the rocker in your life.

Look out Jair...

Do I have the CD for you...

Featured lyrics:
CHORUS

Be a man Hulk Come on don’t be scared
Your runnin’ from Macho that’s what I heard

Be a man Hogan Come on don’t be a chump
I never thought Hulk would go out like a punk

Be a man Hulk Come on don’t be scared
You’re runnin’ from Macho that’s what I heard

Be a man Hogan Boy you’s a chump
Cuz Hulk Hogan is a real big punk

New favorite record

Give it up for Ron Sexsmith. This new CD is GOLD.

Bribery works

Even in New York City.

Nice work if you can get it

link.

This is Bush's 33rd visit to his ranch since becoming president. He has spent all or part of 233 days on his Texas ranch since taking office, according to a tally by CBS News. Adding his 78 visits to Camp David and his five visits to Kennebunkport, Maine, Bush has spent all or part of 500 days in office at one of his three retreats, or more than 40 percent of his presidency.

WCS parent in the news

Scroll down to the bottom to see how ex-FBI guys make their living these days.

The Onion | Point-Counterpoint: The War On Iraq

I have nothing to add.
The Onion | Point-Counterpoint: The War On Iraq

Deep in the Heart of Texas

I was in Texas for five days, visiting my in-laws and their friends in East Texas, then a couple of Chicago friends who just moved to Austin this year. I will have a five-part series on my trip, because I have a lot to discuss:

Bluebonnets
75 degrees
Will Curtis isn't in the phone book
Baylor has 9 new identical buildings
Shiner beer is fantastic
Cubs Win!
The 2005 Dodge Durango
...and much, much more!

That's right...

...I'm not from Texas.
That's right I'm not from Texas
That's right I'm not from Texas
But Texas wants me anyway.

See y'all in Austin and Corsicana this weekend!