Okay, so having kids doesn't really make you stupid...I guess I should have realized that, since the source of the site says:
The Hoosier Gazette was created by a couple of guys who thought it would be fun to create a website that uses both real and fictional news stories to provide a humorous look at life and culture in the state of Indiana.
On the bright side, I have been offered positions in the Defense Department and CBS News. Apparently, they love my attention to detail. Woo hoo!