Helpful: The Rules

I'm glad I found this book on clearance at B&N last weekend. According to Esquire:

#217: Melon should be more popular.

#140: The best vowel modifier is the umlat.

#162: You can't think of the Gutenberg Bible without thinking of Steve.

#247: Any word employed as a prefix for "pants" results in a word that is funny, e.g.,
finickypants
funkypants
happypants
googlypants
nancypants
and boogly-booglypants.

And so on...